How to frustrate me!

So, yesterday I finally got ashamed enough of my non-posting status that I spent an HOUR writing a bulleted list of everything that has happened to me in recent weeks. Nothing big, really. Just lots of small stuff that seems to fill my hours and days.

And then I promptly overwrote the whole thing with a blank file. I know better. What the heck was I thinking? Maybe it was subliminal…because maybe I said some things I shouldn’t say. I really do think sometimes someone’s looking out for me. I just let it go. Maybe in a day or two I’ll do that catch-up thing. A few things actually were interesting.

Today is hotter’n the hubs of hell. Again. But, I got out fairly early to drive DD to her gig at the mall, since her car air conditioner is kaput. Since I was out, I decided to go to Sears to get a new battery. My current one is really, really old, and every time I get the oil changed, they remind me of that fact. Since I’m about to take a small vacation, I figured it was time to invest in a new battery – before I get stuck somewhere on I-40 with a car that won’t start.

So, the guy at Sears fiddled and fiddled with my car and then came in and told me he couldn’t get the hood open. What the…? It seems that the handle has been lost from the hood opener thingy. The Sears guy told me that I need a new hood opener thingy before the hood can be opened…and the battery replaced. And then he sort of just dangled my keys at me in a lame way, as if to say, “Come back when your hood opens.” Bummer. Seein’ as how the Honda dealer was about two blocks away, I moseyed over to see if their service department was open on Saturday morning. It was!!!

So, Honda Service Guy says…”Well, we COULD replace the cable assembly, but that’ll cost you some bucks. OR…you could just use a pair of pliers to grab the end of the cable (which sticks out of the hole where the knob used to be) and it’ll come open just fine.” Now…why didn’t the goober at SEARS know this???? I ask ya! So, I let the Honda people sell me a very expensive new battery. I just hope it lasts as long as my old Die Hard did. I learned a valuable lesson about this Sears Automotive Center. And met some nice people at the Honda place. So, that piece of frustration didn’t turn out so badly.

Then I went shopping. My target was a place called “1/2 of 1/2.” CHEAP clothes! You just have to watch for rips and stains and such, but when you find a good item…you can get a real deal. I loaded up on new stuff for this coming season’s performances. We kinda dress up with sparklies and shineys and stuff on performance nights. Cheap sparklies and shineys are always good. It took me something like 3 hours to sort through the trash to find the treasures, and that was frustrating to this non-shopper. But, the grand total at the register helped to soothe the ruffled feathers.

Then I went to the supermarket. It was really, really hot by that time. I picked up the small number of items we needed – including a package of sugar-free Fudgesicles. Hey! They’re one of life’s essentials in this weather! Then I remembered that we needed marshmallows. Now, you must understand that marshmallows are a major food group at our house. They are just that important. Do you know how many different places supermarkets can invent to stash marshmallows? Being a major consumer of marshmallows, I pretty much know where all the hiding places are – but you never know which of those places the store you are shopping in will choose to use. Since I was in a strange store, I had no idea where the baking supplies, cocoa or candy actually reside. The search can turn very frustrating. Quickly.

Fudgesicles are melting….melting…melting…while I searched out all of the likely hiding places for marshmallows. I finally found ‘em (in the candy aisle this time) and managed to get out of the store without leaving a trail of chocolate soup. If I ever shop in that store again, I can go straight to the marshmallows. At least that’s progress!

I’m so glad I replaced my battery this morning. Today would have been the day it gave up the ghost, if I hadn’t. I’m convinced of it.

Pickin’ and Chickin

After nine years of wandering in the wilderness, I recently settled on a church. Back home in Texas, we were deeply involved in life at our church. It was a big part of our identity. These past few years, we have been missing that connection and fulfillment. Finally, we’re on our way back to “belonging.”

Yesterday was our new church’s annual picnic. “Pickin’ and Chickin” it’s called. Both the pickin’ AND the chickin were outstanding. I wish I had gotten a picture of the chicken. It was maybe some of the best I had ever tasted – and it looked it!

There were two buffet lines, and both were heavily laden with bowl after bowl and platter after platter of good, Southern cooking.

The church is set in an older, affluent part of Memphis, and the grounds are just lovely. Scattered among the huge old trees, families staked out their territory and prepared for the feast. I love little girls in springy church dresses, don’t you?

Here’s my little girl. It literally seems like yesterday that she was wearing frilly little dresses herself.

Elsewhere, boys were being….well…boys.

The first order of business were the sack race heats. I didn’t stick around for the finals, but I’m thinking one of these girls must have won it. They were so focused!

It was a beautiful day. A great way to start the summer. Have you had YOUR first picnic of the season? I sure hope so.

Hiking with Chihuahuas

I spent the Memorial Day weekend in Signal Mountain, Tennessee (a Chattanooga suburb) where my sister recently moved. It was great to see her new home and be with family for a few quiet days.

I LOVE my sister’s new neighborhood. In fact, I’ve now got a serious case of neighborhood envy. There are lots of hiking opportunities within a few blocks of her house. We took advantage of one of the trails – and took the doggies. Hiking with chihuahuas was a first for me.

With a bit of coaxing, Bunnie was able to get little Mukti out on Rainbow Lake dam with her. But, she wasn’t having ANYTHING to do with this – the swinging bridge!

Her companion, Sandy, was even more reluctant. There’s just something about not having solid ground under ones feet that turned these two totally off.

I really do believe that even if we had completely disappeared on the other side of that bridge, the dogs would have stayed rooted in place. Having pity on our furry friends, we only went over far enough to get some mid-bridge photos.

Finally, on the way back to the house, we took a detour to the scenic overlook – a mere five or six blocks from home. This is a view worth moving cross-country for. I’m counting the days until I can experience it again!

Fat pants!

I haven’t talked much about my weight loss campaign lately. I guess that’s because it’s going well, and there really are no issues. It might be more accurate to say there weren’t any issues. I’m gettin’ issues.

It’s my clothes. They are – er, uh – too big. When the weight first started coming off, I cleared out all of the very biggest things. Hauled ‘em to the Goodwill. That left a lot of stuff hanging in there! But, I’ve been ruthless. About every ten pounds, I evaluate things and get rid of some more items. Suddenly, I realized I had nothing to wear. Well, not much.

So, I went out and bought about a dozen linen shirts and 7 or 8 pairs of pants in a smaller size. That worked for a month or so. Then, I began to notice the butt was getting saggy on the pants, and the shirts looked like maternity tops. Hmmmm…time for more new stuff. This week I did it again…bought a whole new wardrobe in the next smaller size. I don’t have time to comb the thrift stores. I barely have time to whip into JC Penney and grab a handful of what I hope will fit. This is getting expensive!

I’m hovering very close to the halfway mark in this little project. I’ve got a few more sizes to shrink. I guess I should just look at it as an investment in my health and be glad I’m not going in the opposite direction!

Oh…and I am most chagrined that in these smaller sizes, elastic waists are becoming harder and harder to find. I haven’t zipped anything in probably a decade or more! It was intimidating to slip into those zippered pants this week. You don’t realize the full impact of gaining a lot of weight until something specific hits you right between the eyes. At least I don’t. Going from elastic to zippers was one of those watershed moments. Part of me was glad to be leaving the Dowdy behind…but the other part of me was a little intimidated to give up the comfort and room. I guess it’s a small price to pay!

Rising Fortunes

Sunday evening I made the short journey over to Tunica, Mississippi to meet up with an old, dear friend who was here on a gambling junket. Karen and I have lost money together in more casinos across this country than I can even name. We were brought together by my former job, which took the both of us to the far corners of the United States. And, being betting girls…we always took advantage of the “local color.”

So, Sunday night she played blackjack while I fed the machines. Neither of us did particularly well. We enjoyed a lovely steak dinner (comped by the house) and caught up on our families and gossip. Eventually, we wandered back to our hotel in the wee hours. A little poorer, but richer for the experience.

No matter when I get to bed, I always wake up at the same time. 6:30 a.m. It’s a sickness. Karen was still zonked, so I freshened up and went back down to the casino to kill time before we were to meet for breakfast. It’s more fun to play in the mornings, because there aren’t many people around, and you can pretty much play any machine you wish. I love the “Wheel of Fortune” machines. So does everybody else. In the morning, they are nearly always available. They consumed a couple of twenties in short order. Bummer.

I wandered here…and wandered there. Nothing. Finally, I just chose a random machine and poked a twenty into it. Hmmmm…it was a “live one.” Before I knew it, my twenty had grown into seventy bucks! Not bad for a few minutes play. This was a “ten times pay” machine. That means, if the little “ten times pay” oval shows up on the payline, along with two other matching symbols, you get ten times whatever those other two would normally pay. If you get TWO of those “ten times pay” ovals, then you get ONE HUNDRED times the normal payout. So, I’m hitting the spin button…and hitting the spin button…and…and….

One Ten Times Pay oval pops onto the payline. Then another! And then a red 7! Lights started flashing! Bells started ringing! I frantically looked for the payout chart that shows what red sevens are worth. 100 coins. Quick…do the math! Lesseeeee…100 quarters = $25.00 right? So, 100 times $25.00. Can it be that I just won $2500!!!!? You betcher bippie! 2500 smackers, baby! Right there in my palm! I can’t tell you how much FUN that was! Just plain fun.

My payout was completed just about the time we were due to meet for breakfast, so I showed up wearing the classy jackpot necklace they gave me…and stashed my winnings in the purple velvet pouch. I would have bought breakfast for Karen, her brother and his wife, except they’re comped for everything…so I actually made it home with ALL of my winnings! What an amazing morning!

Sad, sad day….

I’ve known this day was coming for quite a while now. I have two part-time staffers over the age of 80. One of them has had health issues that have seriously affected his ability to do his job. I kept hoping he would catch on and realize it was time to hang ‘em up. But, of course, he didn’t.

Things have gotten progressively worse these last few weeks. To add more stress, we are over-budget on staff expenses, and we’ve been asked to find ways to save. My guy was the first logical choice. I hate it. My boss hates it. My boss’ boss hates it…and even the guy above HER hates it. But, it was inevitable.

So, today, three of us met with him, and our executive director told him the bad news. Unfortunately…he cried. (So did we!) I feel like I’ve squashed a kitten! And, I’m worried that this might be the beginning of the end, as frail as he has become.

What a crappy thing to have to do. I’m not very happy this afternoon. That makes at least two of us.

When pigs flu…

Am I the only one who thinks this Swine Flu thing is being blown waaaay out of proportion by the media? I think not. In fact, I know not. Most of the people I work with are shaking their heads in disbelief, too.

This afternoon, we got an email from the higher-ups advising us that a case (yes…ONE) has been reported in our county. This information was followed by several paragraphs of instructions as to how to reduce our chances of contracting the disease. This included the usual stuff, such as washing hands, not touching sick people, using hand sanitizer, etc. A few minutes later, a bottle of hand sanitizer actually showed up. The latex gloves are on their way! For real.

Do people not realize that flu strikes this country every year and that thousands of people suffer from it? And, lo! A few people even die from it every year. Every single year! That’s why I never fail to get my flu shot. We are actually being told that Swine Flu responds well to treatment. So…what is the big deal? I…do…not…get…it!

Make no mistake. I don’t want to get the flu – any type of flu. It’s bad stuff, for sure. But, I’m just not going to go off the deep end. And I’m sure as shootin’ not going to wear gloves at work.

If I croak from Swine Flu, you have my permission to quote me and point out my foolhardy ways as a warning to others.

Checking in!

Didja miss me? Probably not, since I don’t post with any regularity these days. But, I’ve been gone. I took a quick four-day jaunt to Pennsylvania, New Jersey and New York City. I was questioning my sanity at one point, but all in all, it was a great trip.

Part of the trip was set aside for family visits. Those were just as you’d imagine. Boring to anybody not in the immediate family. But, good. My sister looked better than she has in years (it’s been nearly 4 years since I had seen her) and she is really doing well in general. So that was good.

On Friday, I had my Big Adventure. I grabbed the train in Trenton and went up to the city…to get my hair cut. I had told everyone I was going to NYC to get a haircut. I love shocking people in silly ways. But, I really DID get a haircut. It just so happens that my niece is a hair dresser in Brooklyn, and she does a super job with my hair. So, I brought her brunch and “let” her give me a new do. I love it. She makes me look so…with it. I am definitely NOT “with it,” but it’s nice to fool some of the people some of the time.

I managed to get lost on my way to the Trenton train station. The Google map in no way resembled the reality of the streets before me. But, I kind of knew where the tracks ran through the city, so I pointed myself in that general direction, and sure enough…I eventually ran into them. It was a snap to find the station after that. I had a generous 15 minutes to spare. We don’t need no stinkin’ map!

Saturday afternoon and night were set aside for catching up with friends. Confession time. I am a major Clay Aiken fan. I’m part of a group of women who met on a website called Lecherous Broads for Clay Aiken. “The Broads,” for short. In recent years, my closest broadly friends have pulled away from the main family of Broads and formed our own “Pennsylvania Broads” group. We’re not all from Pennsylvania, obviously. We reach into Tennessee, Georgia, Connecticut, Maryland and Virginia. We are a zany bunch of middle-aged women – and we have a blast when we get together.

We sing and eat… and oh, yeah…enjoy some adult beverages.

We watch lots of videos, and usually dance to the music, even when we’re too lazy to get up off our hineys!

A gift exchange is always part of our get-togethers. Currently, rubber chickens are a major feature of our fandom. (It’s a Spamalot reference.) Joy was the lucky girl who got the chicken. We’re all green with envy!

Finally, about 2:00 in the morning, we aired up our mattresses and spread out all over the house. I slept like a baby! How I hated to come back to the real world the next day. I’m a firm believer that everyone needs a little Crazy in their lives, now and then. Thanks to The Broads, I got my Crazy Batteries charged. I love those gurls!

Easter Surprise!

I never EVER thought I would do this, but…

After church this morning, DD and I went to the Botanic Gardens to take a few photos. She shot me. I shot her. And, then we did the old shutter delay thing and got a few of us together. Those were the most fun – but perhaps not the best pictures.

Anyway…photos of me usually make me cringe and avert my eyes, but there were actually some good ones in this batch. I was absolutely amazed. So, I thought maybe you might like to see what I look like. This picture actually looks like what I THINK I look like, in any event.

And this is my favorite one of DD. She probably won’t like it as much, I’m sure, since it’s not glamorous or anything. It just captured a look I love. Ain’t she purdy?

Church was kind of crazy, what with all the twice-a-year folks and all, but worth it. We were in the jumpseats, but we were there! After our photoshoot, we came home and made a delicious grilled lunch and cleaned our plates. Then we ate chocolate and nuts – the indulgences we had given up for lent. It’s been a great day so far. I hope you’re having as blessed an Easter as we are.

Cross Training

All this walking I’m doing (20 miles so far this week) is making my feet very, very sore. I’m going to a special shoe store this afternoon in search of some help, but that’s another post. Anyway, it occurred to me that a little cross training might be good for what ails me.

Enter The Bike. Or, should I say RE-enter The Bike. My poor bike has led a lonely life since I moved to Tennessee. The single time I saddled up, it ended in disaster. I still don’t know how it happened, but I just flopped over, like that old guy on Laugh In. You know…the one on the tricycle. You don’t remember Laugh In? Oh, well…never mind. It hurt. A lot. That was over 3 years ago, and I hadn’t been back on the bike since.

When I lived in DC, I took advantage of the many bike trails that criss-crossed the entire area. My favorite weekend outing was to take my bike down to the Potomac and ride along the river all afternoon. This isn’t quite as bike-friendly an area. Not by a long shot.

I live in a quiet neighborhood with very little traffic, so I figured the nearby streets would be a good place to get back into riding. I was a bit nervous, in light of my little accident the last time out. But, it went well, in spite of the gale force winds blowing today. I could only handle 10 minutes, however! This biking stuff uses totally different muscles than those used in walking. I dismounted with shaky knees and burning thighs. I must have done some good!

My goal is to bike another 10 minutes several times this week and then bump it up to 15…etc., etc. etc.

Geezers on bikes. What’s next? Rollerblades?

Keeping it Legal

We got a liquor license here at the theater late last year. When appropriate, we have a cash bar before shows and during intermission. We’ve been hiring freelance bartenders and servers and, honestly, our sales volume is so low that we’ve barely made a profit. But, it’s a service our patrons ask for, so we comply.

Recently, however, our bartender failed to arrive. The show must go on! What to do…what to do…??? Knowing full well I was opening a wiggly can of worms, I happened to mention that in my wild and wooly days I waited cocktails and tended bar a bit.

Can you guess who’s the new bartender?

I live in fear that someone is actually going to ask me to make a real drink. But, so far, it’s mostly been wine, various substances on the rocks, and the occasional gin and tonic. I can handle that.

I had 61 days from my first bartending gig in which to complete an alcohol awareness class and apply for a server’s permit. My class was yesterday. It’s all done but the shoutin’, baby! I’m legal!

Five hours. It took FIVE LONG HOURS in class. If we hadn’t had so many “bonding” experiences, we could have been out of there in an hour and a half, but I don’t make the rules. I just endure them.

I did learn something interesting, though. Apparently, there’s a gentleman who has several stuffed dragons that he carries around with him from bar to bar. The dragons share a name, but I can’t recall what it is right now. Anyway, he orders the dragon a drink, and the two of them consume their beverages, with the dragon’s nose being occasionally dipped down into its own glass. If just one of my classmates had related this tale, I would have written him off as a weirdo, but more than one person in the room had served the dragon. It’s for real! I’m kind of hoping the Dragon Man is a lover of the arts, but I have a feeling I’ll never serve the two of them at my bar. I’m almost disappointed.

Catching Up with The Girl

Jill Aigrot

Isn’t she lovely? She’s French. And tiny. And so gracious and delightful. Her name is Jill Aigrot. If, like millions of other people, you saw the movie La Vie en Rose you have heard her voice. She provided the singing voice for the actress who portrayed Edith Piaf. We were delighted to have her appear on our stage this past Saturday night. She was a huge hit! We’re still getting positive feedback this morning. Usually, we in the box office only hear about it when people have something to complain about. It’s so nice when the audience leaves a performance as happy as they did Saturday night.

I took tons of photos but haven’t had time to process many of them. This was my favorite of the few I looked at. Concert photography is so challenging. There’s nothing more frustrating when it goes badly – or pleasing, when it goes well. At first blush, it appears I am going to be happy with this batch.

Smallpines rattled my cage this morning, reminding me that it’s been a while since I’ve updated. I think it’s time for one of those “dishwater” posts, as he calls them.

Work has pretty much consumed most of my life lately. I haven’t had a day off all month – and probably won’t get one until Good Friday. It’s wearing thin.

I’m looking forward to a few days off in mid-April. I’m flying to Philadelphia for a multi-purpose four-day weekend. I’ll spend a couple of nights at my sister’s in Bordentown, NJ. I’m hoping to take the train into the city to see my niece…and get her to freshen my haircut! Before flying back to Tennessee, I’m attending an annual gathering of a group of women I’ve shared some amazing experiences with. I’ll fill you in on that little group later.

And…I’m getting healthy. I really am. You know, all my life I’ve heard “diet and exercise.” “Diet and Exercise.” “DIET AND EXERCISE.” You know the drill. The diet sometimes works out – but usually not the exercise. Well, I’m here to report that there’s something to this exercise thing. About six weeks or so ago, I started walking. I didn’t take it on as a project. It was just a nice day – and I started walking. THREE MILES LATER, I thought I was going to die! But, I was so proud of myself. Later that week, I did another 3 miles. And another. And on and on. Now I average 4.5 miles three to five times per week – and I’m feeling GREAT! The weight has begun to come off, too. It took a while, but these last two weeks have been very productive. I’m not even dieting. Just exercising. Who knew?

I’m actually taking the rest of today off. I brought my exercise clothes – and I’m outa here!

See you on the trail!